Monday, December 8, 2008

Ergent Seth and the Slave Trade Ship

Ergent Seth is a terrible man, or alien freak. He's a slave trader, stealer, murderer, drug dealer, and is a horrible directoer of vampire, cannibal type films. I guess the main thing is to keep your spirits high. I tried to talk him down by saying he was the lowest life-form I ever encountered. He told me something of equal dissapointment. I was number one on his list of people. I put so many Outlaws in prison. I was the highest bounty.
"You got me, for the most part." I said.
"What do you mean the first part?" Seth asked.
"The night at Phoebe's house. You had a dream. I scanned it. It's over. Not gonna happen."
"What dream?"
"I'll give you a hint. Dumb-Dumb."
At first I thought I had him beat. Then he went and got the worst thing I ever saw. It was an Opus 24/24. The same gun that killed my parents.
"What are you gonna do? Shoot me?" I asked with a fake sense of pride.
BANG!
"Good guess." Seth said.
Getting shot sucks. This was the same way my parents went. I would miss baseball, Bart Simpson, Spiderman, sno-cones, White Castle, the Winter Olympics, sno-cones. Yeah I said sno-cones twice. Got a problem with that? I did with the gun shot in my stomach. A little girl came and balled up my stomach with a shirt. She was nice, but a guard came in.
"Didn't I tell everyone not to touch him?"
"Give me back my wallet!" She wasn't really robbing me. I was only saying that to get the guards away from me.
I spent the hour lying on the floor, writhing in pain. Gun shot in the Salt Mine I thought. Great. My life had become the title of a country western song.The guards got me and told me to move.
I saw a giant, rectangular looking thing coming down from the sky. It was a space ship, and yes they aren't round, they are like a dumpster. We all boarded into it. It was disgusting. It looked like an onl boiler room. We went through a metal detector type thing, where they took The List away from me. I was sprayed with gas, put in a gray jumpsuit, and shackled with the other kids. In the ship there were cages of kids hand olling cigarrettes, sewing animal skins, and basically doing dirty work. I got my own room, but that wasn't as much fun as it seemed. I was going crazy in my own downward spiral.
"You're not a loser!" Someone said. It was actually Dana. "Daniel, I can't stand to see you like this." She said I should try to move around, but as I got to my feet, I fell down, cracked my head, and passed out cold. I woke up, and Seth came in.
"I'm sorry." I said crying. Shia LaBeouf could't do a better acting job. Please spare me. I'll do anything."
"Of course you will."

2 comments:

Daniel X said...

Life sucks huh? Maybe you should stop hunting aliens and start hunting deer.

-Joe

Daniel X said...

What have deer done to deserve such cruelty as to be hunted?

-Emma